A New Year’s Resolution Planning Guide for the Semi-Adult

I’m convinced that I was an islander or at least a sea-sider in some previous life. The beach is truly my happy place. But seeing as most of my family members don’t exactly share my views, I’m sadly being forced to consider the very real prospect of not seeing any beaches any time soon.  In the meantime, I can only dream about what it would be like to be able to afford to go where I want, when I want. Oh for the days. Goals are good. Goals are good. If you’re also somewhere in the middle of an awkward semi-adulting phase, keep repeating that phrase to yourself. In fact, make it your mantra. My mother always says to me, ‘you can’t measure the progress of your life using someone else’s yardstick.’ But anyone who’s around my age can attest to the fact that life in your twenties is literally all about comparisons. So-and-so is already driving their own car. That guy you went to high school with Instagrammed a picture of himself in his new, high-flying job. A friend just sent you a picture of her engagement ring. That perennially confused/partying acquaintance from your university years just moved to another country for work. And you seem to be standing exactly where you were a year ago, pasting on a smile and congratulating them. It’s a hard thing to do. When you’re not racking your brain trying to come up with ways to make more money so you can move out, you’re figuring out how people actually sort out things like taxes (because as far as our education was concerned, being able to solve differential equations and discuss the implications of the arms race were more important skills to possess) or better yet, you’re deciding whether you’re going to eat well and brave cold showers or cover your bills and subsist on water and the Word for a month (after all, man shall not live on bread alone.)

It’s not all gloom and doom though. The good news is, ’tis the season to hit the ‘reset’ button and re-focus yourself. So in that positive vein, here’s some extra food (for thought) this festive season, A New Year’s Resolution Planning Guide for Semi-Adults.

1. Pray – There’s no point in proceeding with any plans you haven’t first committed to God. In fact, even before you make a plan, pray for guidance. The last thing you want is to find yourself on a path you never needed to be on.
2. Set Goals – Goals are important. Your goals will be your lifelines. Make them realistic. Don’t be thoughtlessly ambitious, but make them high enough to work towards. Once they’re set, be intentional about achieving them. Whether it’s a new job you want, a place you’d like to travel to or where you’d like to be in 10 years, make sure you keep your eyes on the prize.
3. Focus – Lack of discipline gets you nowhere. Some of the most successful people will tell you that nothing meaningful is ever achieved without diligence.
4. Stay the course – Nothing worth having ever comes easy. Don’t expect it to be a walk in the park. There will be setbacks and disappointments. Don’t be defeated by them; learn the lessons and move forward.
5. Recognise your seasons – Blessings arrive at different times for everyone. Just because your friend is planning a wedding while you’re still waiting for your person doesn’t mean you’ve been forgotten and you should abandon all hope.  Trust God’s timing.
6. Stay in your lane – Everyone’s journey is different. Don’t spend all your time hankering after someone else’s. The grass isn’t greener on the other side.
7. Expect to lose friends and alienate people – If you’re planning to grow, don’t expect to take everyone in your life with you. You’ll find that you’ve outgrown some of the friendships you thought were pivotal and become less tolerant of unhelpful characters. People won’t always understand your path or accept your decisions. And it’s not your business to offer up explanations. You’re only accountable to yourself and your Maker.
8. Re-evaluate your friendship circle – Friends can play a huge role in how successful you end up being. Unsupportive, negative and  unauthentic friends will be an emotional, psychological and spiritual drain on you. Surround yourself with people who believe in your goals and will help you work towards them.
9. Let the Haters hate – Don’t preoccupy yourself with the opinions of others. In fact, a big part of adulting successfully is knowing what’s worthy of attention and a response and what isn’t. Sometimes silence is the most effective form of communication. Besides, if people aren’t talking, you probably aren’t doing much living.
10. Stay engaged – Just because you’re working hard doesn’t mean you should withdraw from all other forms of life. Staying informed on current affairs and being present at important social events could get you well-connected. And you can never have too many connections.
11. Allow yourself to try and fail at something – Failure isn’t the end of the world. It can teach you more lessons than success can. The important thing is to keep trying.
12. Learn how to manage money – Poor money management skills make you a danger to yourself and society. And that’s not just melodramatic, it’s true. Make a conscious effort to acquire money management skills. Open a savings account, set saving goals, practise budgeting and discipline yourself to pay what you owe on time. It will serve you well in the long run.
13. Learn to cook – Something. Anything. It’s a basic life skill.
14. Be proactive – Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who aren’t afraid to go out and look for them. Don’t just wait for things to be handed to you, do your share of work as well.
15. Get a hobby – Read, learn a new instrument or a new language, pick up a sport or even volunteer somewhere. Most hobbies can be fun, pocket-friendly activities that help build you as a person.
16. Kill the ‘Next Syndrome’ – the Next Syndrome is the idea that you’ll derive more happiness from the next job, relationship, place, house etc. If you can’t find a way to be happy where you are now, you’re not going to be happy anywhere. Whatever you do, do it with joy and a thankful spirit.
17. Find your fit – As long as the earth is turning, there will be people who are prettier, taller, smarter, funnier and faster. But there will never be another you. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. The sooner you learn to embrace yourself, the easier it becomes to find your purpose and place. Because there’s a role for everyone to play, and no one can stand in for you on-stage.

So go ahead and plan purposefully people! 🙂 While I continue to hope that the sound of crashing waves will cease to be merely in my head one of these days, I’ll work at ensuring I have a handle on this adulting business. Because this time next year (God-willing), you better believe I’m taking myself to the beach!

I’ll see you at the seaside!! 😉 😉

xx